Writing & Photography

Giving From the Heart

What does giving mean to you, and how does giving make you feel?

We often hear that giving is better than receiving; this is true for me, but is it for you? But why is it?

When I was a little girl, whenever a friend was in need, I always wanted to give, whether I had something to offer. I always felt the obligation to find ways to give. So I gave whatever I had in excess. I was a very giving person and still am. Somehow, giving gives me a surge of satisfaction. Sharing makes me happy.

Giving can be a burden.

Sometimes the feeling of wanting to give all the time can become a burden; this was also true for me, especially when I do not have the means to provide. I never understood why I had a more deep-seated desire to give. However, as time went by, I slowly realized why.

Giving makes someone happy and, in return, makes me happy. It wasn’t about how I looked to the person or how expensive my gift was; I just wanted to offer something. That’s when I realized giving was never an obligation. Instead, I enjoyed giving, whether material things or my time. Finally, I understood why It is better to give than to receive.

Christmas and giving

Christmas is a time for giving. Everyone saves money months before the holiday expecting to spend and share. Then, as time draws near, people start to shop for everyone on their list. We all have our lists, don’t we? Some lists may remain the same, and some may change. Each year people may add new names to their lists, whether new friends, relatives who did not make it on the list last year, or new clients to show our appreciation. Some lists become shorter depending on the budget or how people treated us the year before. I know it is sad, but there’s truth to it, isn’t there? But why do we make the extra effort to save and make a list? Is it all about the presents? Is it because we are obligated to do so? It is Christmas, after all. Christmas has always been connected to gifts.
Christmas, however, is more than just giving. It is sharing with and out of love; it is giving unconditionally. We give not because it is Christmas, because of what others may think of us if we don’t, or because we expect something in return. Instead, we give because we want to; we give out of love as simple as that!
Giving should not only be done during Christmas; giving should be done every day. If Christmas makes us want to share, then every day should be Christmas Day. I am not saying that we must spend money every day. We shouldn’t automatically correlate giving with money or material things. Giving is so much more than that.

Quality Giving

We can give our time to help someone in need. We can provide our shoulders for a friend to lean on. We can give our ears to listen. We can offer our attention, our affection, our kindness. We can give our time to the homeless shelters; even animals need care and love, so why not also spend time at the animal shelter? There are many opportunities to give; all we need to do is take a moment and look.

God gave.

God gave, just as it is said in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” God gave something, or should I say someone precious to him, his son. He gave something valuable to us; eternal life. He gave out of love, and so should we.

During this holiday season, let us remember what giving is all about. Let us be intentional and attentive to the needs of others. So many out there are lonely, desperate to belong — many out there are alone during the holiday seasons, perhaps a widow or someone away from home. Some people may suffer from physical and mental illnesses and may need someone to be there during the holidays to brighten their day.

Please focus on the quality of what we are giving. Let us pass from the heart. When giving comes from the heart, it is felt in the heart of those who receive it. Give a gift that can never be forgotten, a gift that can never be replaced. Let us give the gift of love this Christmas and every day after.

Thankful For Memories

Look back and find things to be grateful.

Growing up was tough for me. I did not belong to a nuclear family. My mother worked hard raising me but had to travel to put me through school. So I spent my childhood moving from place to place, living with my grandparents and relatives. Some may find that difficult, and yes, it was at times.

There were times of loneliness, times of trials, and there were times of questioning. Yet, in the midst of it, there were also times of learning and times of growth. There were opportunities to meet new friends from different places, have fun with cousins, and have memorable moments with my grandparents.

“Papalolo ” I will always treasure and be thankful for my time with my cousins and grandparents in Bohol, Philippines. The times I spent with my grandfather, who will all call “Papalo,” were very special! I remember when he used to call out early in the morning, “LARGA!” means let’s go in the Visayan dialect. No matter how sleepy we were, we would get up, for it meant beach time. It was bonding time; it was time for fun!

“Mamala”

My grandmother, who will all call “Mamala,” was a great cook. She spent most of her time in the kitchen. My favorite as a kid was her “flying saucer burger.” We call it such since my grandmother would make it in this flying saucer-looking cooking gadget. I will never forget the aroma of the burger as we all entered the house after playing outside; it sure made us all full and happy afterward.

A home filled with love

Their home was nothing special; it was simple, made of wood and tin roof, but big enough to hold more than twenty kids and some adults. It was not a mansion, far from it, but it felt like one to us. The house was filled with laughter and love; that’s all that mattered to us.

Fondest Memory

One of the fondest memories I have as a child was when we all camped on the living room floor. Can you imagine twenty kids in the same room? Chaos right? Well, somewhat, but as soon as Papalo comes in and sits on his favorite wooden chair, we all get quiet. We all get comfortable listening to him tell us one of his made-up tales. Some made us laugh, and some were meant to scare us. It was our routine before going to sleep.

The next day, we would wake up to a man yelling, “Puto Conchita,” a popular breakfast treat in the Philippines. We all get up and run outside, ensuring we get the man, but as always, Papalo beats us. We find him speaking to the man as if they were best friends. We go back in to see Mamala, with hot cocoa ready for all of us. I will always be grateful for my time with my grandparents and cousins- One to cherish!

Thanksgiving

We celebrate Thanksgiving Day by being thankful for many things. We are grateful for good health, blessings, family, and friends. Every day, I try to appreciate everything I have and don’t have. I make sure also to be grateful for the things I don’t have, for it makes me appreciate it more.

In the spirit of this year’s Thanksgiving, I am making an intentional effort to look back, remember the good times, cherish the memories I have with the special people in my life, especially those who have passed on, and be thankful for them!

Remembering, Regee Cabagnot,Rudolph “Tabugok” Cabagnot, Marcello “Papalo” and Florentina “Mamala” Cabagnot

Happy Thanksgiving!

Turn Struggles and Limitations Into Opportunities To Make A Difference.

Sometime in 2010, as I was walking to the store, I felt a sudden weakness in my left leg; it took me by surprise, and I fell to the ground. I immediately stood back up, dusted myself off, and went. I attributed it to a simple spasm- no big deal, I thought. A few months later, the same thing happened; my calf was solid as a rock this time. I told myself that perhaps my body needed more potassium, or maybe I was dehydrated. I ignored it once again until one day, both legs gave out on me.

The Stress of the Unknown

I knew something was amiss. I decided to see my primary Doctor, and after a few tests, I was sent to a neurologist. I started to get nervous. The initial diagnosis was multiple sclerosis, a potentially disabling brain and spinal cord disease. My nervousness turned into panic, as anyone could imagine. I can handle pain, and my pain threshold is high, but I am not as tough emotionally and mentally. I started thinking of the worse possible scenarios. I thought about how this illness would change my life, how my family would be affected, and how it could stop me from doing what I love.

Though some of the tests revealed it was indeed MS, some revealed; otherwise, I was a bit relieved, but we were back to square one. I was sent to different specialists for years, and as the years went by, my symptoms progressed, and my stress level skyrocketed, making my symptoms worse. The spasms had gone from my legs to my torso to my vocal cords, making it sometimes hard to speak. My body would twist involuntarily, and my ankles would twist in like pretzels, bringing tears to my eyes. My family did not know what to do or how to help me.

One day, some unusual symptoms manifested. It wasn’t something I’d experienced before. The left side of my face drooped. I was confused, I had difficulty concentrating and retrieving words, and nothing made sense when I could finally speak. It was a petrifying experience. My neurologist told me that stroke was most likely the culprit, but it started to happen quite often. Now, things were not making sense.

After years of seeking answers and being diagnosed differently, I was finally diagnosed with Dystonia, a rare neurological movement disorder that causes muscle contractions. Added to the diagnosis was Hemiplegic migraine, another rare neurological condition with a headache accompanied by muscle weakness and other symptoms that mimic stroke. Both symptoms overlapped with each other, one triggering the other at times. Now everything was making sense.

Though medication controls both conditions, there is no cure for Dystonia, and when I go through dystonia storms, there’s nothing I can do but ride it ’til it passes. Sometimes I could not help but feel sorry for myself; more than most, I know how self-pity can affect one’s life. The negative thoughts and feelings added to my stress and, in return, made my symptoms worse.

Pride Took Over

“My illness is not going to stop me,” at least that’s what I repeatedly told myself, but my condition had something else in mind. I could not keep scheduled meetings, my job was affected, and I lost clients. My husband took over most of my responsibilities as a mother and a housewife; it made me feel useless and inadequate. My condition prevented me from spending time with friends.

I kept pushing through despite the struggle, ignoring the desperate call of my own body to stop and rest; whether I was physically, mentally, or emotionally beaten down, I paid no attention to them. I tried to continue to be who I am, a strong person! I planned projects at home and at work. I refused help from my family, showing them nothing had changed; I could still do things on my own. I continued to smile and put up a grand façade, carried on with my obligations until my body could not handle it any longer, and received a wake-up call.

One day, despite all the warning signs of impending doom, I went about my day like nothing was wrong, and before I could stop and think, I was on top of the staircase, seizing, putting my whole family in panic mode. The last thing I remembered before losing consciousness was my youngest daughter’s voice screaming in terror. I had traumatized my daughter. I was in danger of falling and hitting my head on the ground, perhaps not waking up again. Yes, I was unconscious for a while, but the moment I opened my eyes, it woke me with a worthy realization—something needed to change.

Realization Leads to Acceptance and Opportunity:

I was afraid that my condition would change everything. I was worried that my illness would define me. I was scared to look weak. It wasn’t easy for me, and it took time to see my situation’s positive side. I turned things around. I started to find ways to feel valuable and complete despite my limitations. My weakness has given me a new perspective in life: to acknowledge the little things presented to me, see the beauty each day brings, and savor the limited time I am given each day.

I decided to join a soccer league. I never played any sports before, let alone soccer, where a lot of running is involved. Still, because I knew I might never be given a chance again, I took advantage of the opportunity to do something I’d never done before.

I decided to write! I used to create stories in my head as a young girl to help me fall asleep at night; I suppose I still do it from time to time, but this time, I decided to write them down, and thus, my first book, “, Belief” was born! “Believe” never made it to the bestselling category, far from it, but the process was a part of my healing process, a story to tell, and there were no regrets.

I started to add value to myself. I decided to serve and add value to the people in my community. I started sharing my experiences in the hopes that someone to realize that struggles don’t mean defeat; it is an opportunity to find the natural beauty in life that we may take for granted. It is an opportunity to find one’s strength, which they can share with the world.

I may be limited in what I can do, but I am not limited in power, passion, or opportunity to make a difference in myself and my community, no matter where I am or how I feel. I now live with the mantra of doing what you can, when you can, while you can, and enjoy every minute of it! Life’s struggles only stop you if you allow them.

Revelation

I was wrong when I thought I lost my identity. I was crazy when I thought my condition defined me. I was wrong when I thought strength was being able to do everything whenever I wanted to; I was wrong about many things. However, I realized that I am still the same person; I am still all the things I was before my condition, perhaps even stronger and more spirited.

I needed a little waking up to understand that I am a better version of myself now. Someone who can say it’s OK to take a break and ask for help. Someone who found strength from weakness. Someone who looks for opportunities to be great despite hardship. I needed to see myself as somebody who could take a moment, enjoy the sound of raindrops, and expects the sun to shine again after the storm.